Fine. I'll sleep in my office
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
