so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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