Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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