i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
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You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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