Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(904): View more from Florida

the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants

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(904): the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants http://tfl.nu/u4r0

Replies (7) Good night (5944) Bad night (658)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.

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(973): I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung. http://tfl.nu/lg9m

Replies (18) Good night (5125) Bad night (904)
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(415): View more from California

Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.

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(415): Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea. http://tfl.nu/bfzd

Replies (8) Good night (4324) Bad night (1070)
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(518): View more from New York

he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."

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(518): he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials." http://tfl.nu/vm6j

Replies (20) Good night (8881) Bad night (1634)
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(217): View more from Illinois

I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?

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(217): I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college? http://tfl.nu/03bi

Replies (13) Good night (4634) Bad night (892)
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(720): View more from Colorado

After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.

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(720): After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards. http://tfl.nu/zyl3

Replies (13) Good night (814) Bad night (2843)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up

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(720): I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up http://tfl.nu/nnr4

Replies (5) Good night (3553) Bad night (922)
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(618): View more from Illinois

This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.

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(618): This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money. http://tfl.nu/bov0

Replies (3) Good night (2163) Bad night (650)
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(514): View more from Quebec

bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.

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(514): bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister. http://tfl.nu/visn

Replies (7) Good night (1402) Bad night (2286)
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(410): View more from Maryland

you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.

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(410): you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship. http://tfl.nu/fcev

Replies (5) Good night (2336) Bad night (1056)
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(940): View more from Texas

I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.

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(940): I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me. http://tfl.nu/wgik

Replies (2) Good night (1014) Bad night (460)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.

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(303): I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers. http://tfl.nu/x72i

Replies (4) Good night (1421) Bad night (442)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????

(781): View more from Massachusetts

5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal

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(617): she's five days sober.....are those consecutive???? (781): 5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal http://tfl.nu/ppjn

Replies (1) Good night (1359) Bad night (610)
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(831): View more from California

to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal

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(831): to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal http://tfl.nu/c7f7

Replies (5) Good night (555) Bad night (1213)
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(816): View more from Missouri

It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.

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(816): It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do. http://tfl.nu/e4al

Replies (17) Good night (877) Bad night (374)

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