talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.