Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else