Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
