How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
