Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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