DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
