Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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