Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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