I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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