Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
