I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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