suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize