fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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