what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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