I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
