Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
