ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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