I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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