i already hear my dad disowning me
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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