He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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