Kiss
Puke
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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