Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
