Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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