I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
