We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
