its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
