the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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