Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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