when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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