Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
