I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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