Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
