I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
