i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
