this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
