I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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