Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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