can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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