I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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