yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
