I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
