Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
