Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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