I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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