Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
They should really pass out barf bags in church
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize