He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
