Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
i out mim tonsoeep
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
