physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
