You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
it hurts more in the daytime
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
