Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
