I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
