Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize