Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
