Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
