Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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