we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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