I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
