Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
