if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
