whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
