Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
