Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
