I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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