did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
