You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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