2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
