i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
